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How To Help Your Firstborn Deal With A Sibling


Estimated read time : 4 minutes

In your child’s eyes you were the perfect family of three where it was just ‘mommy, daddy and me’. For you, your only child was the centre of your universe and she surely was aware of that. There was no sharing and your little one particularly cherished that exclusive right to your love, attention and affection.

But things are about to change as you are soon going to have your second baby. You are thrilled and excited. Your family of three is soon going to be a loving family of four. You are happy that your ‘elder’ child now is going to have a sibling and a companion with whom she can play and grow up together with.

This, without a doubt, is an event worth celebrating. But it is important to realise that your family dynamics is soon going to change and your child may not receive this news with great excitement. Having a sibling to your child means sharing his/her toys and most importantly, your love. Thus it is up to you to prepare your child for the arrival of a sibling. To know more about this, read on.


Breaking the news

Before you spring the news on your firstborn, it is important that you first think through when and how you want to tell him/her. Take your elder one with you on your check-ups and allow your child to be with you on the days of scans. You can also take some helpful cues from various literature on this matter.


As The Due Date Draws Closer

Your little one’s single child status is soon coming to an end. At this time, your best bid is to play it cool. You can do the following things to prepare your child for the arrival of a sibling.

  • Enlist your child’s help when you are preparing the baby room or when you are picking new things for the baby
  • Do let your child know what’s in store for you and him/her once the baby arrives. Explain to your child that the baby will cry a lot and that mommy would have to give the baby some extra attention
  • Ensure that you have planned plenty of fun activities for your child once the baby arrives. You can choose one to keep your child occupied while you are feeding or tending to the baby


When The Sibling Finally Arrives

The joyous day you have been eagerly waiting for is finally here! You are one happy parent but remember it’s fine if your firstborn is not sharing the same sentiment. Understand that your child is struggling to accept the loss of his exclusive relation with you. He/she now has to share you with the new born. Your role is to empathize and accept the fact that your firstborn is going through some changes. You can work on certain points given here.

  • Avoid making any major changes to your child’s daily routine. This will only make your little one feel displaced and less important in your life
  • Invite your child to help you with certain baby ‘jobs’ such as asking him/her to fetch a diaper or picking what to dress the new born in. The idea behind this is to make your toddler feel like a caretaker. Also, acknowledge everything your firstborn is doing for the baby
  • Take turns in taking care of new born. Share the load with each other, mom and dad